A Key to Long-term Happiness
What makes us happy? That new car? Finally owning our own home? A million dollars in the bank? Getting that perfect job? One of the world’s longest longitudinal studies on life has revealed a surprising ingredient for happiness.
Harvard Study of Adult Development(1)
In 1938, during the Great Depression, scientists began tracking the health of 268 Harvard sophomores. Women were not included in the beginning because Harvard College, as it was called back then, was an all-male school. Later on, the study was paired with another study that had been following 456 male Boston inner-city residents since the 1940s. There were a total of 724 men in the original cohort, the remaining members all in their 90s today.
The key to long-term happiness
Dr Robert Waldinger, the Harvard psychiatrist who is the 4th Director of this long-lived study, says the research shows the key to happiness is not based on IQ, wealth, fame or what side of the tracks you were born on, but rather the nature of your relationships. In his own words: “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”(2)
There were three key findings about relationships that predicted how happy and healthy the men were as they aged:(2)
Loneliness shortens life. Men who were lonely and isolated from others were less happy, their health and brain function declined earlier, and they lived shorter lives than those who were not lonely.
Quality more important than quantity. Contentious, affectionless relationships had negative impacts on health and happiness compared to warm, loving relationships which were protective.
Good relationships are good for the brain. Memory stayed sharper longer in those men who were in relationships where they knew the other person would always be there for them, while earlier memory decline occurred in those men whose relationships were the opposite.
Many studies have confirmed the importance of relationships and connectedness to happiness. The Blue Zones research highlights lifestyle habits of the world’s healthiest, longest-lived people in principles called the Blue Zones Power 9.(3) Four of the Power 9 principles refer to relationships and connection. These include Belong, Loved Ones First, Right Tribe and even Wine @ 5, (which is more about connection with family and friends than it is about wine)!
Recommendations
In our fast-paced, busy lives, it’s easy to unintentionally neglect family and friends. In order to optimize long-term happiness and health, take time to nurture the important relationships in your life. That can take many forms and is a lifelong journey, but here are five suggestions to help you get started:
1. Institute a routine and scheduled (i.e., weekly or monthly) night out with a friend,
spouse or significant other.
2. Give family and/or close friends your undivided attention doing something together
that they choose.
3. Take steps toward replacing a portion of your social media time with a personal
connection.
4. Reach out to a relative or friend that is isolated or alone.
5. Resurrect a connection with a once-close friend you haven’t talked to in years.
References
